Things had been…complicated since the Mall. And Max was doing her best to cope. Losing Billy hit her harder than she was ready for. The guilt in particular was the worst. She found distracting herself helped, anything to make her think about anything else but what she had lost.
Lucas did his best, bless him, but he could sense she was pulling away. Pushing him away. He did what he could. When she needed space he gave it to her. But he made sure he was available whenever she might need him. If she called, he’d be there. So whenever she decided she needed him to distract her from her grief, her guilt, he would come round. No questions asked. She would call less and less, but he never wavered. Days, weeks, it didn’t matter. When she gave him a call asking to come around while her mother was out at work, he didn’t hesitate. He also wasn’t surprised when she pulled him into her bedroom almost immediately, calling upon him to distract her from her troubles.
A part of her knew it wasn’t fair to keep using him like this, but common decency was pushed aside by desperate need as Max tore Lucas’s clothes off his skinny athletic body. Since he’d joined the basketball team he’d developed quite a bit, much to the pleasure of the girls who got to admire his new abs and toned muscles. Max didn’t notice. She always liked him despite his dorky appearance so it didn’t matter he was now a Jocky dork. She yanked his top off and helped him out of his pants before smashing her lips against his to aggressively make out with the dark skinned boy. He managed to keep up with her advances, his arms wrapping around her as she kicked off her trainers and peeled her shirt over her red hair. He got a moment to gaze at her developed body before she shoved him onto the bed, sending him crashing onto his back while she hurriedly undid her trousers. He sat up on his elbows watching her climb out of them before removing her bra, the stern look she gave him signaling he should lose his underwear. He obliged in time to see her shuffle out of her panties too, staring in awe as the naked young woman stepped forward and climbed on top of him, latching her lips to his as she crawled onto his naked body ready to use and abuse it.
Not that he would call it abuse, though he did wish there could be a little more foreplay involved in their sexual intercourse. Max was pretty straightforward with her advances however, mounting his lap and taking his already stiffening cock into her pussy. Lucas gasped as she sank onto him, her own sigh indicating the pleasure of his intrusion. She kissed him hard, her hips already rocking against him riding his cock roughly. He put his hands on her hips and thrusted with her, the bed shaking with their motion as they fell into a rhythmic pattern of desire. Their kiss intensified, becoming heated and passionate, their bodies pressed together in a desperate embrace. For Lucas, it was heaven.
For Max, it was a distraction. She clung to the pleasure she felt like a lifeline, using it to chase away the pain and guilt she was carrying around. For a moment she let herself forget about Billy, about his death and how much she blamed herself for it. But in that moment she found it replaced by something else. Loss. Not the loss of her step brother, but the loss of Eleven as memories snuck into her mind while she made love to her boyfriend. Before she knew it she found herself reliving old hangouts, sharing ice cream or jumping on the bed with her, shopping at the mall or going to see a movie.
She broke the kiss with Lucas and shook her head, chasing those thoughts away. She couldn’t think about that now, it wouldn’t be fair. She looked down at Lucas, sweet adorable Lucas lost in the throes of passion as she rode his cock, his face falling into her chest to enjoy her young soft breasts and those delicate nipples. She gasped softly, loving how much care he took with her. He always made her feel good. She embraced him tightly, massaging his penis with her body. The moan in his throat voiced his approval. He took hold of her and rolled her onto her back, falling on top of her with a grunt sliding back into position. Max stared up at him fondly as he leaned over her on his elbows, his nose brushing her cheek as he gazed into her face. She could see his eyes counting her freckles, memorizing the pattern they formed over the bridge of her nose. She blushed, leaning up to kiss him affectionately. He kissed her back, his hips rocking between her thighs prompting her legs to wrap around him.
Her arms encircled his shoulders, gripping his back tightly as they continued to make love. Hot, passionate, sweet love to one another. She nuzzled against his neck as he nibbled on her shoulder. Her hand combing through his short hair griping it tightly, she felt him thrust deep inside of her, stirring her insides making her swoon. She felt alive, her gasps turning to moans as she closed her eyes.
Once again, another face flashed through her mind. More memories invaded her conscious thoughts. Her and El. That night at her place. Their sleepover before it all went wrong. Their first kiss. That innocent, awkward kiss. She opened her eyes, gripping Lucas a little tighter as she tried to stop her mind from running away from her. Too late, the second night replayed. Her place, their coats soaking wet from the rain. They kissed, a lot. It was more intense. More passionate.
Max’s breathing became labored, her heart racing, her body heat increasing. She felt Lucas against her moving, but it felt a million miles away. His grunts faded away as her pulse filled her ears as her head fell back, eyes staring at the ceiling while she was fucked.
Lucas might be the boy lucky enough to share her bed, but right now he wasn’t the person Max was imagining having sex with her. That position was taken by the best friend several thousand miles away, the one she hadn’t seen since the day she moved away. The day they shared their grief and gave into those desires and made out on the bed in the nude, just one step away from actually doing anything more. Max panted as she recalled the softness of her flesh against hers, the curls in her hair, the taste of her lips, the rapid thudding of her heart as their chests pressed together. Remembered the sweat, the tears, the affection and the grief. She remembered the goodbye that broke their hearts. She remembered and relived it all as she lay there and made love to her boyfriend, panting and grunting until she finished alongside him, the two young people climaxing together.
Max moaned as he felt Lucas coming inside of her, the sensation snapping her back to reality as she blinked and sighed. It felt nice to be loved, feel his love pouring into her. She hugged the boys tightly clenching his rod milking his cock as he pumped his load deep inside, trusting the pill she was on to prevent any major consequences. She collapsed onto the bed with a sigh as Lucas nuzzled her neck affectionately, their fingers interlacing as they brought their gaze to look at each other. They didn’t say anything, nothing needed to be said. But all the same, Max faked a smile as Lucas kissed her cheek and collapsed on top of her, her mind somewhere else.
She didn’t like using him like this. Lucas was sweet and she loved him. But he wasn’t enough to chase away the demons that plague her nightmares anymore. Making love to him wasn’t enough. She let him stay for a while though, the two of them sleeping in her bed with him snuggled up against her embracing her protectively. She spooned with him, accepting his protective embrace, casually stroking his arm while she rested her head on her elbow staring at the collection of photos of her and her friends on the bedside table. Her focus was on the strip of photos taken at the mall of her and Eleven. She couldn’t explain why but thinking about her, their time together, it helped the most. It made her forget her troubles. But it left a longing that seemed to feel worse.
She missed her friend and hoped she was thinking of her too.
***
Eleven liked California. So did the Byers. Joyce was settling in and seemed to be thriving. Jonathan had made friends. Even Will was beginning to like it here. Eleven liked it too, though she was having a few adjustment issues at school. But she was steadily adapting. She’d started using her birth name more. She liked it better than her number, but Will still calls her El. She didn’t mind really.
The hardest part about moving to California was the loneliness. She was missing Mike. She would write to him almost everyday, and he’d write back. She wouldn’t tell him everything. She found herself lying more and more about how happy she was out here. It was hard being so far away. Some nights she just wanted him to be with her.
She had a lot of time to catch up on reading and movies and stuff. She’d leant a lot of things, including things she shouldn’t need to know. She committed a lot of self teaching to memory, mostly for school and to improve her social skills. If there was something she didn’t understand either Will or Joyce would help explain it. But when she started learning about sex and porn, she picked up enough cues to know this was a topic that should stay private. She found videos and “borrowed” a few of the magazines and tapes Jonathan or Joyce would hide around the house. She always put them back before they noticed anything was missing. She checked Will’s room out of curiosity once, found a lot of material with naked men and their big muscles and even bigger assets. She almost got caught in his room once and had to shove it all back under his bed. She didn’t think he realized she’d been snooping.
All this research gave her enough to begin masturbating, understanding how it’s done and why people do it. The first time she tried it she was amazed at how much she wet the bed. After a couple more nights of practice she was able to get herself off and begin experimenting with a few other toys she found hidden in Joyce’s room. Over time she found she wasn’t fond of the vibrating wiggly dildos and was happy to use her hands, or more often her pillow. One time she rubbed herself with a stuffed animal, but it was hard looking down at the baby shark between her legs and trying not to laugh.
Now whenever she felt lonely she would wait until everyone else was asleep and switch on a lamp, pull out a photograph of Mike and fantasize about him and her together doing the stuff she’d read or watched. She would rub her hand between her legs, both inside and outside her pajamas, and stimulate her clit repeatedly until she was panting on the bed biting her lip to silence the moans of arousal. Her imagination would conjure images of Mike, sometimes with the muscles and dicks like the men in Will’s magazines. Most often she’d replay the memories she had of them making out in her room, the experimental way their hands would drift over the edges of their shirts not daring to go further just yet. She imagined what it might’ve been like to have sex with him, now amazing it could’ve been. How amazing it might one day be.
But then some nights she can’t seem to manage it. One particular night she was facing a particularly frustrating night humping her pillow trying to get enough friction to stimulate her body. She hand the photograph of Mike on the headboard, her eyes staring straight at it picturing him fucking her from behind. But it didn’t seem to be enough. Eventually she gave up and rolled onto her back in a huff, brushing her hair out of her eyes. It had been weeks by now, weeks without a satisfying conclusion to her efforts. She huffed again, picking up the photo and returning it to her dresser in defeat.
Before she closed it, her eyes caught the many photos she kept stashed in their. One caught her eyes, reaching inside to pull out a group photo of her with their friends. Mike was there. So was Will, Lucas, Dustin and Max. It was at the Mall back when it opened. She smiled seeing them all together. But then her eyes drifted to Max, standing right beside her. She was standing with Lucas, her boyfriend, but her arm was around El, the two sharing a smile and a laugh. Max was her best friend. It hurt that they’d lost touch since they moved to California.
As Eleven stared at the photo, her finger tracing to pair of them slowly, her thoughts drifted to the memories she had of them both. The laughter, the joy, the excitement, the affection. She felt the adoration they shared as they had their sleepover, which lead to them talking about boys and then about other things, which led to their kiss. The first of many kisses, many times they made out, more intense then how El and Mike make out. Mike never got further than the kiss with her. With Max, just before they left, Eleven actually got undressed with her until they were making out naked on the bed, her body feeling so warm and soft and…
Eleven shook the memory away and threw the photo back into the drawer slamming it shut. What was she doing? Why was she thinking that? Mike was her boyfriend!
Thanks to her research Eleven now understood exactly what she and Max almost did, or did do. It never occurred to her the attraction she felt was more than friendship. It didn’t occur to her what kissing another girl like that meant. Did she like Max? Like like her? She sat up in her bed hugging the pillow against her, her thoughts now spinning in circles. She liked Mike, he was her boyfriend. But what if she liked Max too. Perhaps she should just sleep on it, forget about all of it.
Except when she laid down, she could creep. Her mind was drifting in and out of her make out sessions with Max. She couldn’t help it. She tried to think of Mike but Max just seemed to overpower her senses. Before she knew it her eyes were closed and she was heaving softly, her hands drifting between her thighs squeezing her crotch. She couldn’t explain how it happened, but her imagination started running away from her. She was back in that bed when they got undressed, the kiss growing passionate between them as they rubbed each other. She’d found a few videos in her research relating to girls kissing, stumbled across a book in the library describing such erotica, and now that imagery was coming to life with her and Max as the subjects. Her fantasies turned sensual as Max climbed on top of her, her hands roaming her breasts while her lips kissed her neck.
El moaned silently as her own hands followed her imaginary lover’s caressing her boobs through her pajamas while her rubbed her groin. Her body began to tingle the more it went on, getting so warm she had to pull her top off to cool down. Her body arched as she played with her boobs, her nipples becoming stiff when she touched them. Her hips rocked against an imaginary thigh as she reached down inside her bottoms and dipped her fingers into her pussy, gasping as she plunged into herself. She felt her own wetness leak over her fingers as she pleasured herself, feeling Max’s breath thought she knew the girl wasn’t there. But her mind made her think she was, her best friend fingering her and kissing her and fondling her boobs. It was intense and incredible and Eleven began mumbling her name under her breath begging for her to keep going. Her senses tingled as she panted and moaned, her body trembling as she felt her climax approach faster and faster until she found herself tipping over the edge and meeting an incredible orgasm.
She snapped up in her bed the moment the climax passed, panting heavily feeling the sweat on her skin. Her pajamas were soaking, her bottoms drenched with cum. She stared at her knees, still trembling from the orgasm. She had never felt anything so intense like that. Not with Mike. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, the after image of her fantasy fading back into her mind. She flushed bright red. She could believe she just masturbated over her best friend, to a satisfying conclusion too. She hurriedly changed into a new set of pajamas and climbed under the covers, curling up to go to sleep agonizing over what it meant for the rest of the night.
The next day she swore she wouldn’t do anything like that again. Mike was her boyfriend, it didn’t feel right to be fantasizing about someone else. She carried on her day as normal, vowing not to tell anybody about this. She didn’t mention it in her letters. Didn’t talk about it with Joyce or Will. She let herself forget about it and move on. And she did.
At least, until the next time she failed to get herself off masturbating over Mike. Each time that happened she reluctantly allowed her thoughts to drift to Max, which brought her great satisfaction every time. Over the next month or so she would make her best friend her imaginary subject, her own guilty fantasy. Over time it got easier to imagine. And over time she felt more guilty about those thoughts. But true to her vow, she never mentioned it to anyone.
So when Mike finally came to visit her and Will for the summer, she threw herself into their time together determined to make up for lost time. And to hide the guilt she was feeling about what might be misconstrued as cheating, if only in her own imagination. It was easy to just put on a smile and not tell Mike. Having him here would help her prove he was the person she liked most. It would all work out.
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