Okay, I’m actually a little nervous about these little guys.
Gnomes aren’t usually harmful or dangerous, but these particular ones have been quite a handful lately. They’ve been tearing up Hagrid’s Garden, the training grounds, the Quidditch Pitch…
Sorry, none of this is actually relevant for my paper. All you need to know right now Mr Quill is that they are very stubborn, very tricky and have a nasty habit of burrowing into people’s back yards and destroying their gardens. And right now they’re wrecking the Care for Magical Creatures area. I hate it when they dig here. It scares the other animals.
Fortunatly they should be simple to remove. Though it goes easier when I’m not alone. I can’t call my friends for help though. We split up when we graduated. I haven’t kept in touch with them as much as I should. I think Barnaby is working at the Ministry though. I suppose I should send him an owl. Between us we could degnome the area in a hurry.
So why did I come alone?
Honestly…I wanted to use these guys as my study subjects for my paper and I didn’t want to deal with anyone interfering or mocking me. Or maybe I just prefer working alone. I did mention I’m not much of a people person, right?
Of course I did. I’m talking to my magic quill like it’s a real person while it writes down my every word.
Okay, we’re here. Crap, look at this mess! I love all magical creatures, but sometimes Gnomes are the worst.
Ow. Hey!
Why you…get back here! Oof! Grrr…
Sorry. Bloody thing threw a rock at my head.
Oh, there’s another one. And he’s laughing at me too. Hrk! Damnit, they are fast.
Ow! Quit it! Ow! Hey! How many of you are there?
Maybe I should’ve brought a friend.
Alright, let’s just get these notes down and then get rid of these guys.
Ahem.
The average Gnome is considered…
OW!
Okay, that’s it! Come here you little…argh!
Thump. Thud. Aiee! Let…go! Shit, that’s my shoe! Give it back! Ow. Stop with the rocks! That’s my favorite shoe. Come here. Give it! Give…grrr…hey, stop that!
Rip.
FUCK! Stop! Come…got you! Stupid gnome, look what you did to my pants. Hey! Not the shirt!
Rip, tear, snap.
Hmpft. I suppose you’re pretty proud of yourself for ruining my clothes?
He he he.
Very funny. Now get lost!
Yargh!
One down. Two…three to go.
I don’t suppose there’s any way for you to help me with them is there Mr Quill?
Didn’t think so.
Okay, come on. Out you get. No…grunt…got you. You’re not getting away that easily.
Ow! No, not letting go. Ow, quit it! Grunt…okay, now what are you going to…
Thud.
Ow! What the hell? Did you just trip me? Not cool.
Hey, get off of those. They aren’t yours to play with. Rip. Hey, that bra was a gift! To myself, but that’s not the point! Get…grrr…ow, let go of the hair.
Tear.
Oi! Get away from that. God damnit, stop ripping my underwear! I don’t have another set.
He he he.
What’s with that look? Oh, oh no! Don’t you dare bring that dick any closer. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will kick you! Ha!
Whack. Argh! Ha!
Hey, what are you..? Fuck! Get off me! Let go…get that thing out of my…gasp! Hey, get that prick out of me! Human pussy is not meant for gnome dick! Oof! Fuck, not so hard. Just get off! Ow, that’s my neck. Ow, that’s my nipple. Ah, don’t pull it!
He he he!
Hey, don’t you dare! I see you! No, not the ass! Don’t you dare put it in my…gasp! Ah!
Ulp!
Mmpthf!
Ha ha ha!
Gulp! Gulp, gulp, urk, Ulp! Gulp…gulp…mmphtf!
Gasp! Cough. So gross… no, I’m not sucking it agai…Ulp!
Ha ha ha ha!
Gasp…gulp..yelp…Hrm!
Urk…gasp…fuck, stop…fuck…should’ve…called….Barnaby…
Gulp…
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